Women In Work - Lets Work Together To Be Confident
November 14, 2019
Hello
Ladies, I am Amy Wallis, Founder of Market inn Ltd. I have been asked by the
lovely women at Women In Work to express issues I have experienced in the
workplace.
Fortunately,
I am lucky enough to say that I haven’t experienced issues in the workplace
directly correlating with my gender. Although, I do remember when I first
entered the Lincolnshire Business scene under two years ago as a business
owner, those early breakfast networking events saw me experience a few up and
down looks from women. They later expressed that they were shocked by how fresh
I looked at that time in the morning, so it wasn’t as cynical as I originally
thought.
The main
factor which has utterly CHANGED my life is… confidence. I used to put myself
down and of course, others would follow. People don’t need much of an excuse to
put others down now, do they!
I wanted to
angle this blog less about my experience within the workplace, but more about
what I have learned along my journey so far. That way, I hope that at least one
of these points can mean that you live a more confident life, like me! It's a
much better life, do you trust me?!
I have been
lucky enough (is it luck?) to have experienced some astonishing things in my
time. Yes, I am still only 24 speaking like someone much older (my friends are
always saying that I sound double my age, if not triple). I have recently been
to New York on business, filmed at the Ritz Hotel and The Bvlgari Hotel in
London (both of which we worked alongside our fashionable friends at SqWears
Couture), won Start-Up Business Of The Year for The Lincolnshire Media Business
Awards (you may have seen us in the Lincolnshire Echo - apparently, you could
spot us a mile off with our orange branding) and been announced as 1 of 30
under 30 rising stars in Lincolnshire through the Lincolnite. Wow - you could
say that I am living the dream. But the key point here is to not shout about my
achievements in the last 4 months alone, but to take note that none of this
would have been possible if it hadn’t been for confidence. By being confident
it means that I am able to have experiences like this.
Although
today I am an extremely confident young lady, it hasn’t always been that way.
Here is how I have made it happen.
1. Stand tall
even if you are small. I am actually a relatively small person, but apparently
not in presence. Which is always a bonus! But how did I achieve this? No, I
haven’t stood in soil overnight or stretched myself. My employee forgets that I
am small because of how I portray myself. That is the magical bean here.
Standing tall and believing in your own abilities. Next time you are around the
workplace, stand tall and see the difference it makes. You will get to the
point where you don’t even think about it anymore and it becomes natural, like
me!
2. Appearance
isn’t even half of it, but your posture helps. In my office, we have a little
activity called “posture check”. This image instills that if you have the right
posture, and appearance, it does help, buts it’s absolutely not everything. I
would like to think that I always stand tall and believe in myself and you
should too! Stop thinking about the negatives and more the positives.
3. To me,
mindset is everything.
Appearance
does help with standing out, but mindset is everything.
-Discover
your passion - I have discovered my passion - hospitality and marketing. This
means that I am living the life that I really want to. Find your passion. What
I would really like to install in you lovely ladies reading this is to live the
life that you want to by finding your passion. Confidence and happiness is sure
to follow.
- Find what
drives you.
-Believe in
yourself, "no one else will". Not everyone will believe in you and if
you don’t believe in yourself (I know it sounds like a real cliche) but it’s
very true. Not everyone is there to boost you in business, so you have to
believe in yourself first. You have to be your own little cheerleader, without
being really vein.
-Don’t give
up. Play hard, work harder. This is one of my sayings (see, I switched it
around). It’s also important that you have a personal life and that your life
isn’t all just work, work, work because it means that you can look after
yourself and be the best version of yourself. When I was first starting my
business, I wasn’t really getting that play hard, instead, it was all work,
work, work (does anyone else want to break out into dance, or is it just me?!)
Now I am a much better version of myself, I am getting a bit more of a balance
and it means that I can take a step back and realise what I have got.
Recognising your achievements then, you guessed it...builds your confidence.
-Absolutely
look after yourself. Make sure that you eat the right things and you have time
for yourself and your loved ones. I very much keep my personal and business
life separate and I don’t know how many other people do that? With that being
said, I think it is important that you are confident in yourself in your
personal life and that then portrays in your business life and vice versa. This
can’t be the case if you don’t look after yourself and have a personal life in
the first place.
-Don’t put
yourself down. I used to put myself down a ALOT and people around me would then
put me down. I thought hang on a minute, what’s going wrong here? Answer: It’s
the fact that you are actually putting yourself down first. Then they are going
to follow suit, aren’t they?! If you don’t put yourself down, you find that
other people build you up. Everything starts with you ( I know that from
actually living it).
-Know your
stuff - I would like to think that by running a marketing agency that I
understand marketing. It is definitely good to know your industry and
understand what you are talking about within it because people will then see
that confidence within you. Marketing is 24/7 for me and because I have found a
career path of which I am OBSESSED with, it means that I can inject my energy
into something that I am not only good at, but that gives me fulfillment
nothing else ever could. And guess what ladies… because I am fulfilled in life,
I am confident!
-Learn To
Love Yourself. Again, it sounds very cliche and it comes with time, but yes,
you must love yourself first.
-But of
course, be aware of your floors (no one is perfect). I am absolutely not
perfect, but I acknowledge my floors and I know how to improve myself. And
guess what, as you improve, your confidence follows!
Master all of
this and everything else will follow. I found that when I stopped putting
myself down, other people then build you up and everything else follows. When
you believe in yourself, everyone else seems to believe in you.
4. Remember
the term “Instagram vs Reality” This is happening around us every single day of
our lives. Instagram perceives you to have an amazing life and everything is
positioned exactly how it should be, but that is not the reality! It is
important to look beyond the photos and don’t just think, that is their life.
That is in fact surface value. Don’t just take it as that, there are other
things going on below the surface. People are TIRED (like me). Think about the
reality behind women, they may appear confident and like they have everything…
and they pretty much do, but yes, I am also very very tired most of the
time.
5. Be a good
reflection of yourself, your values, your morals. Whatever company you decide
to work with or whether you would want to launch your own business, make sure
that it coincides with your values. Because you need it to be a good
representation of yourself and true to yourself. Apologies if I am teaching you
to suck eggs here, but I think it is really important to say that and for you
to understand your worth not only in business, but in life.
When I
launched Market inn, I actually wrote down values of myself and I made sure
that everything aligned. One of the reasons was to make sure that I didn’t lose
myself in business - so please do the same and stick with yourself.
6. Create
your own wave in a sea of people. You can’t so much create a wave unless you
have that confidence in yourself. You need to be able to stand out in some way.
During a recent talk for the Women In Work conference, I was wearing orange
heels (of which I always wear), my Market inn branding of course and something
that will hopefully make me memorable (with a vibrant pattern - in this case, a
bright floral patterned blazer). Everything is strategic (it might have looked
like I had just thrown it on - hopefully not!!!). Try to be memorable and pick
something that is consistent aswell. I appreciate that you might not want to go
around with bright orange heels - so find something that is perfect for you and
suits your personality (see what I did there!)
Please
believe in yourself because we have so much to offer and need to show everyone
else that. Surround yourself with likeminded people as after all, they say, you
are an average of your three friends or, something like that!
Lots of Love
(And Support),
Amy
Wallis,
Founder,
Market inn Ltd
x
Women in Work Conference on Confidence - Speakers
November 5, 2019
Kelly Roberts.
Kelly Roberts studied at The The University of Hull where during her final year became the Vice President of an
Urban culture society, organizing events within the University and across the local
community relating to the promotion of cultural diversity through performing
arts. Following her graduation in 2013, from The University of Hull with a
degree in Creative Writing with Media and Sociology, she then volunteered for
an award-winning start-up bakery business 'Delissima Cakes' managing the
business's social media and advertising content. Kelly then began working as a
business development manager within the Print Industry before Joining
Enterprise rent a car as a Graduate management trainee in 2015.
Loren Kelly
Loren Kelly is a Career Coach for
students and young professionals with over 10 years of experience. Loren helps
people get clear on a career path and pursue their future and/or first job with
confidence.
‘’I am most passionate about
helping students navigate the many uncertainties of career and university
decisions to ensure long-term happiness and success.’’
Meryl Shirley
Meryl Shirley runs Women Growing a Business, a
Lincolnshire based organization supporting women and business and female
entrepreneurs which started earlier this year. Prior to this Meryl has worked
in several business startup companies.
Next event held by Women Growing a Business on
the 12th of November. Amy Wallis
a Lincoln University graduate and recent winner of a Lincolnshire business
award is speaking. https://www.facebook.com/events/457966981479449/
Calista Craig
Calista Craig is a third-year
Advertising and Marketing student at the University of Lincoln. Calista just
completed a professional practice year at E.ON UK within the Route to Market
department.
‘’My experience at E.ON allowed
me to gain significant confidence, not only in my work ability but also my
personal self. I have discovered the importance of confidence is putting
yourself outside your comfort zone and being open to experiencing new things.’’
Georgia Preece
Georgia Preece is a research artist, poet, and
activist based in the East Midlands. Her artistic practice revolves around
themes of political, social and environmental unrest, with her current body of
work centering itself around the concept of revolution, resistance and
rebellion as a form of practice. Preece is a practicing artist and poet,
studying Fine Art at masters level at the University of Lincoln, whilst working
as a production assistant for Frequency Festival and as a sub-editor and
writer for Radical Art Review.
Girl Wash Your Face
November 4, 2019
Hi Ladies,
Hope you all enjoyed the first book review and feel fully engaged with
the science behind confidence and now are all ‘thinking less and taking action’
while also being ‘authentic’.[1] This
month I have chosen a book with a lot less figures and science experiments,
whoop! This month’s book is ‘Girl, Wash Your Face’ by Rachel Hollis.[2] I
read this book while on holiday and I have to say I felt totally motivated
after. Hollis writes in such a fun but informative way and makes all her advice
feel personal to you. Not only does she cover how to be successful in your
career but also spends a lot of time on personal life as well. After all you
have to feel comfortable in both areas to full reach all your goals.
Hollis starts off by explaining, ‘This book is about a bunch of hurtful
lies and one important truth. The truth? You, and only you, are ultimately
responsible for who you become and how happy you are. That’s the takeaway’.[3] I
feel happiness is the most important factor when trying to reach your goals as
unless we are happy we will feel unmotivated to put in all the effort needed to
reach our dreams. That’s why I loved reading this book so much!
The chapter that spoke to me the most personally, was Chapter Two; ‘The
Lie: I’ll Start Tomorrow’ This review will focus mainly on this chapter as I
feel it was the most motivating for me.[4] Within
the chapter Hollis uses an anecdote of a night she went out with a friends an
‘impromptu happy hour that turned into an impromptu dinner and ended up going
later than any of us anticipated.’[5]
Something I’m sure many of us have experience (although I’m sure Hollis has
never ended up in Keller). However, I’m sure none of us have then gone home
after an event like this and worked out, I know I definitely haven’t. Hollis
did this and explains how she ‘put the evidence of that workout on snapchat’.[6]
She then recalls a convocation between her and her friend that snapped her back
after seeing the post;
Friend: ‘You worked out after that dinner?’
Hollis: ‘Yes because I planned on doing it and didn’t want to cancel’
F: ‘Couldn’t you just postpone until tomorrow’
H: ‘No because I made a promise to myself, and I don’t break them ever’[7]
When I first read this exchange I honestly agreed with her friend.
Surely after a big meal and drinks it was okay to put off a workout? I mean what’s
one day or one missed workout do? I mean even as I’m writing this review I’m putting
off YouTube workout I fancied trying. However, once Hollis explained her
reasoning I was totally on board. Hollis points out ‘what if you had a friend who
constantly flaked on you? What if every other time you made plans she decided
not to show up? What if she gave the excuses like “I really want to see you,
but this TV show I’m watching is just so good”?’[8]
Then I got it. If you had someone who let you down contently you would
be annoyed with them and maybe even go as far to think they are a bad friend.
So if I wouldn’t expect my friends to treat me like that, why would I treat
myself like that? This is Hollis point. It can also be explained by saying that
we wouldn’t contently flake on our friends so why would we treat ourselves any
less than what we would treat our friends. Basically a promise made to yourself
is just as important as a promise one person makes to another, this really
spoke to me.
Although Hollis uses this point to motivate herself to do her workouts,
this concept can also be applied to any part of life and definitely to the
goals you are trying to reach by being part of this society. That email to a
potential employer? Adding to and editing your CV? If you have made a promise
to yourself to do something, you owe it to yourself to put it first and not let
yourself down. To summarise the message, I took from this chapter was to treat
yourself how you would treat other people, if not better when it comes to
improving yourself and your career.
Throughout the book Hollis touches on many other examples like this and
has many other motivating lessons from careers to marriage and family life, but
I personally this is the one that spoke to me the most and I don’t want to
spoil the whole book for you all as I highly recommend reading it.
Overall, this book inspired me to see the importance of being proactive
but also to indulge in self-care and doing small things to change my life for
the better. I felt the book gave me a pleasant wakeup call on how to put myself
first and allow my own goals to be achieved but in a way that isn’t selfish.
Although most of the book tends to focus on lifestyle rather than employment
and industry I do feel that this book enables inspiration to allow the reader
to set goals to achieve in all areas of their lives, both proactively but also at
their own pace.
See you all soon for the next book review ladies! Xoxo
[1] Katty Kay and Claire Shipman, ‘The Confidence Code’, Harper Collins Publishers, (New York,
2014), Page 202
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