The Confidence Code

October 21, 2019


Hi Ladies,

As you all probably know our aim at ‘Women in Work’ is to encourage strong, confident women to learn the skills to reach their career goals and stride above any limitations they may face while doing so. While our conferences and events allow convocations and networking opportunities to take place, we also want a strong social media presence to keep empowering you all every day during this academic year. One segment of this is our blog, each month, along with other posts, we aim to produce a book review for books aimed at all the great things we stand for as a society. We hope these reviews will inspire you to take a look at these books and others to motivate you to achieve all your goals whether they be academic or not.

So this academic year we are kicking things off with a review of ‘The Confidence Code’ by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman.[1] I’ve decided to start with this book as it tries to explore the science behind confidence and uses examples of successful woman and science experiments to try and get to the bottom of the mystery surrounding confidence and have we can fully achieve it. Spoiler alert: it seems to be all down to our perceptions of ourselves rather than science, however, like confidence, self-esteem is also rather hard to just achieve. For this reason, I really liked all the background research and personal antidotes throughout the book as I feel reading real examples motivates us and shows us that anyone can achieve a strong self-esteem and therefore grasp the elusive skill of confidence. 

The book starts out by saying, ‘Life on confidence can be a remarkable thing’.[2] This introduction highlights how worthwhile working on confidence can be in the long term and all the amazing things having a bit of confidence can achieve. They support these claims by giving examples of strong women such as Malala Yousafzai, who had the confidence to keep fighting for her rights for her education.

The book then goes on to look at a different aspect of confidence. First by analysing current science experiments on the topic of brain activity and confidence and comparing these to strong influential women to come to conclusions on how confidence can be achieved and developed.

Quite a lot of the points made throughout the book compare female brains and personalities to that of men. Personally, I did not enjoy all these comparison as it seemed to play into conventional stereotypes of women. Furthermore, I feel that both women and men struggle with confidence so these simple and general comparisons aren’t needed to motivate the women reading this book. However, the book does allow a glimpse into society and the intergradient ideas about the genders which a lot of industries and careers have and this gives the reader a lot more motivation to fight these stereotypes.

Overall, I feel it is important to recognise how society is conditioned to believe these between men and women so we can fight it and break glass ceilings. However, this book spends a whole chapter comparing men and women with included stats and figures, and personally I feel this is not needed, I feel that as a society self-motivation without comparison is much better for confidence and that when trying to better yourself and your future the only person you should compare yourself to is yourself.

Later on, the book moves away from these comparisons, thankfully, and focuses on the building blocks to build confidence ‘the confidence cousins’.[3] These are… ‘self-esteem, optimism, self-compassion and self-efficacy’.[4] I liked this section of the book as the authors go into details about each ‘confidence cousin’ and how having a grasps on all of these aspects can build your own confidence easily and successfully.[5] They concluded this chapter with the quite ‘Confidence is the stuff that turns thoughts into actions’.[6] I loved this quote as it is exactly why we are such confidence campaigners here at Women in Work – we don’t just want you to have dreams we want to be able to support you in gaining the skills and confidence to go out and achieve them.

Another significant chapter, which builds on this, is Chapter Six, this chapter focuses on how to ‘make your thoughts an ally’.[7] It enforces the importance of positive thinking and goes into detail on how confidence is more than just working on yourself but also learning how to included others in your confidence so they too can build theirs. [8] The chapter focuses on skills such as ‘being grateful, thinking small and the balance of power in a convocation’ to make you seem effortlessly confident and help others feel comfortable and secure around you.[9]

In conclusion I feel this this book is more factual then it is motivating but there are elements within that do give women, looking to build their confidence, a point in the right direction and the building blocks to do so. So if you are looking for a starting point in developing your confidence yourself this book summarises the context of confidence perfectly and gives a lot of real world examples to how their methods and tips work within different industries. This book has a focus on women working within the STEM and business industry too so it is helpful for researching breaking glass ceilings in those areas.

Anyway ladies, I hope you all enjoyed this first book review – if any of you do read the book feel free to message us and tell us what you think, cannot wait for all the exciting things we have coming up this year!
XOXO







[1] Katty Kay and Claire Shipman, ‘The Confidence Code’, Harper Collins Publishers, (New York, 2014).
[2] Kay and Shipman, ‘The Confidence Code’, P. XXI
[3] Kay and Shipman, ‘The Confidence Code’, P. 41
[4] Kay and Shipman, ‘The Confidence Code’, P. 42-48
[5] Kay and Shipman, ‘The Confidence Code’, P. 41
[6] Kay and Shipman, ‘The Confidence Code’, P. 50
[7] Kay and Shipman, ‘The Confidence Code’, P 150
[8] Kay and Shipman, ‘The Confidence Code’, P. 152
[9] Kay and Shipman, ‘The Confidence Code’, P. 162-165

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