Confidence
tips
So what do
you do when you’re not feeling confident yet you are compelled to step out into
the next season of life?
- The power of
regret
There is no better moment to do what you want to do
than now! Regret is a powerful emotion. I’m entering middle age and
I’m noticing a few of my friends who’ve put off lying out their dream are now
getting on and doing the things that are on their bucket list. One of my
friends in her 40s has just bought a horsebox to take to festivals to sell
coffee. When she bought it she rang and said ‘ I can’t quite believe I’ve done
this - but I need to do this rather than regret not doing it.’S
Sometimes we are so busy wondered what happens if
we ‘fail’, we forget we might actually enjoy the journey we or that actually it
might be a success after all. Another friend is saying she is unsure about how
to grow her business in case she fails. Never mind that in the last couple in
months she has been asked to dress DJ Spooney for 2 major events - appearing at
the Royal Albert Hall and also on the Graham Norton show….. In my eyes that is
already success!!
- Find your tribe and build
trusting relationships.
Last week I heard someone say your vibe attracts
your tribe! (I love a cheesey expression!) Find your friends who will be your
cheerleaders. In fact, look beyond your friends - Look to a network of people
who want to be brave and stretch themselves and know there are people cheering
them on and willing them to do well. Women, in particular, can be great
cheerleaders for other women as many of us know we must overcome Imposter
Syndrome. I run a supportive network called Women Growing which is all about
creating networks where people can help each other out, share skills,
encouragement and recommend good and ethical businesses. Please reach out to me
on linked in if you would like to chat further.
- Focus on what you want to do
and not on what you tell yourself about whether you can do it.
I know a successful woman who was one of the first
high ranking females in her industry. She was well known and well thought of -
when I lived in London I met a who knew her professionally. They commented what
a brilliant job she did. Over this summer we met up to discuss imposter
syndrome. This successful lady told me that upon her retirement, she was the
last one to leave the office as she was finishing up her paperwork late into
the evening - she posted the keys back through the door, jumped into her
Mercedes and thought to herself ‘On my goodness! I got away with it!’ She could
not believe that she had managed to become one of the most senior women, and
even on her retirement she still had an imposter mindset. Whilst this is
something we must all overcome, she didn’t let it hold her back from
success.
I know how diligent she was, how hard she worked,
and how she didn’t take any of it for granted, which made her strive to be
thorough, and ultimately trusted with a senior role for women in the 1980s.
Humility and focus can be a winning combination.
My advice is go for it!
Meryl Shirley
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